— Midweek Meditations:
thoughts, inspiration and encouragement
from ACF community members —
Vulnerable??? — It feels like an expression of weakness in times of armament, too high a risk in a world of arrows of criticism and superiority, no good choice when it is important to be untouchable, independent and strong.
Why would I make myself vulnerable, when “Fine” suffices to answer the question “How are you?”.
Too often I feel hurt when I open up; let down, taken advantage of, left behind lying on the floor when I tried to be honest. I never want this to happen to me again. I am happy for friends, just not too close, just so that I still feel comfortable. Fortunately, I am healthy, not dependent on others and can walk out of any situation when it gets too personal.
I just don’t want to and I cannot be vulnerable anymore.
Thank goodness, I have grown a thick armor around myself, thanks to my shiny successes, walls of Instagrams, hard-trained confidence and resilience, all there to protect me from disappointment, dependence, helplessness, humiliation and pain.
Yet, while we try to radiate invulnerability, we are all vulnerable. Vulnerability is part of human life, more obvious at its two ends, but often overlooked in the time between when growing up seems to become a synonym for becoming strong, independent, invincible. How wrong we are!
Our health is always vulnerable, may it be to an accident, to sickness or to isolation during COVID, when we all tried to protect the “most vulnerable”. How little did we know.
But we not only deceive ourselves when we strive for invulnerability, we also deprive ourselves of one of the most important interpersonal experiences. While vulnerability is always a threat to life and can become overwhelming just because we cannot bear the uncertainty of tomorrow, it is also the necessary condition for growth and relationship in life.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26
We are meant to be relational people. Relationships require this vulnerable heart of flesh. True friendship can only unfold when we open up to the other and learn to gently embrace the other just as he or she is, creating a growing atmosphere of mutual trust. Vulnerability needs this space filled with trust where we can learn to be confident (“with trust”) and without defense, again and again. We become vulnerable when we truthfully ask and answer the question “How are you?” and care for the answer of the other. When we honestly confess that we were wrong, when we take criticism without striking back, when we ask for help in difficult times.
It takes great courage to be the first to let the defense go and stretch out the open arms, while the other person might still hold on his armor. The intimacy of marriage is meant to be such a beautiful place where man and woman can let all their clothes fall and not be ashamed; yet violent abuse of this vulnerability in hidden rooms not only during COVID-19 have caused so much harm especially for many women. How can women, children, men ever recover from such experiences of being betrayed when they needed to be safe the most? How can men and women learn to believe in a loving God when they experienced abuse? What helps a young man or woman after being mobbed at school in a time when you try so hard to keep the walls around you up because you are so vulnerable inside?
Lord, we were meant to walk “naked” without pretense, fully confident of your love before you.
Help us again to fully trust you and dare to be vulnerable.
Let our faith be a source of confidence in our life with others.
Help us to learn how to vulnerably be honest, vulnerably love my family, my friends, my neighbors.
At the same time, let us be aware of the wounds and fears and worries of others hiding behind a hard outer shell in the person across from me.
Help me to reach out to the vulnerable, help me through my honest and loving care to create an environment, which allows the other to become vulnerable, let our church become a place where vulnerable find space to breath, to be comforted, understood, accepted and helped and may it be just by our listening ear, comforting arm.
Lord, forgive us when we were not sensitive to the other person.
While becoming vulnerable is a risk and not appropriate in all situations, let not our worry of being hurt remove all human warmth and closeness out of our relationships.
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
Philippians 2:6-8
being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!
Jesus, you became vulnerable when you entered our world so that we can reenter into our relationship with you and the Father.
You did not hold anything back and paid with your life.
Lord, be with us today.
Amen
Disclosure: The meditation was inspired by an interview with Giovanni Malo on his new book on the “Ethics of vulnerability”.
The ACF Midweek Meditations
are written by a diverse group of our church members with the intention to seek God’s fingerprints in our lives. They range from somber to humorous and are inspired by all facets of live and faith. Written by ordinary people from all walks of life, they reflect a wide range of Christian backgrounds and spiritualities.
Each week’s text portrays the individual viewpoint of its author. They might not always resonate with everyone, and are not meant to be understood as representing the Anglican Church Freiburg as a whole. Yet, as a church that is aiming to ‘Build a Community of Grace’ we seek to practice learning from and listening to one another.
We pray that these humble ponderings add a small spark of blessing to your week.
Freiburg Anglican Church 