The Trail

Homily – Sunday, the 13th October 2024

Reading: Hebrews 4:15-16

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:15-16

We have a buddy who understands what we are going through, (even when we think no one understands our struggles and that we are alone in this battle). Do not worry. He has gone through all these before us. He has overcome. He knows. He understands. Just boldly cling on to him.

Last Sunday I was in Poi Pot whereI was reminded of the one act play titled “The Trial”. Under an authritarian regime there was gruesome persecution of people, a great refugee crisis, torture in prisons, public killings and what we now call the killing fields has so many painful stories. There was a Christian pastor who frustrated with what was going on around him, unable to bear it anyone put God to trail. He saw the pain the women, girls and children were going through, the rush of refugees and asylum seekers, the mockery of judicial systems. He could not stand his friends suffering and having to witness a public flogging and hanging he broke down before God putting God to trial. That is the context of the story.

The Trial

Putting God to trial with frustration rather than anger he said

“You Do Not Understand”

The Pain and Agony of being in a womb with your parentage questioned.

The traumatic anxiety of a child having to flee for fear of life with his parents.

The deep existential crisis of having to live as refugees far away from your home towns in fear of ruling powers.

The life struggles of a GenZ kid, teen or youth in the crypto generation.

The inner conflict of being lured and tempted to compliance with the corrupt systems that we are struggling with.

The pain of being rejected in your own home towns

The inner hurt when your dearest friends are beheaded and mutilated in prisons for standing for a cause

The insecurity of living in a context where every other person could be plotting to get rid of you somehow.

The mental agony of being in the shadow of death.

The Pain of being betrayed by your closest associate

“You Do Not Understand”

The frustration of being thrown from pillar to post in the neame of unjust and unfair trails.

The emptiness you feel when the judge pronounces that I find no fault with you, yet I sentence to death punishment.

The agony of being tortured and shamed brutally in public.

The inner turbulence when you see your helpless dear ones made to watch the gruesomeoness you are subjected to

The piercing within you when you hear your closest aids publically declaring I do not know this person

The feeling of being abandoned even by God in your highest moments of public shame

The shame of dying in public gaze

“You Do Not Understand”

Then came a pause

A deep look at the Image of the Crucified One

Don’t I?

I have gone through all these just as you did.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin.

The Pain and Agony of being in a womb with your parentage questioned. You call it a virgin birth but have you thought what it meant to my parents in such a time as that.

The traumatic anxiety of a child having to flee for fear of life with his parents. Have you imagined a little child having having place to be born, being in a manger with cattle and then having to flee to a foreign nation in a donkey ride just because the ruler had decreed killing of children

I have gone through that as a child on the street and as a part of a refugee family.

I do understand what it means.

The deep existential crisis of having to live as refugees far away from your home towns in fear of ruling powers.

The psychological, legal, political, cultural struggles of having to live in unwelcome and alien living contexts- yes the pain of the asylum seeker who dreads returning to his homeland.

I do understand what it means.

The life struggles of a GenZ kid, teen or youth in the crypto generation.

The last time in recorded history was when I was 12. Thirteen to Eighteen as a teenager, 19 to 29 as a young person or young adult I was also like many of you part of crypto-generation nobody counted as worth being recorded in the annals of history. I went through the same struggles. I asked questions to authorities at church- they did not have many answers.

I have gone through that- I do understand

The inner conflict of being lured and tempted to compliance with the corrupt systems that we are struggling with.

Yes corruption took serpantine forms trying to lure me with temptations in the wilderness- offered me all the power, glory and authority if only I bowed down and worshipped. I refused. I know what it means to be lured and tempted by the corrupt ways into corrupt ways

The pain of being rejected in your own home towns.

You know when they recorded it they took refuge in the words of the prophet who said- No prophet is received well in their own home towns! I have gone through that rejection.

The inner hurt when your dearest friends are beheaded and mutilated in prisons for standing for a cause.

John and I were just six months apart, we were cousins, we were family friends, it was he who brought me back from oblivion, told the world that is going to be the Lamb of God, baptised me and in all sincerity asked me- Are you the one or should we wait for another.

Can you imagine my pain when I heard that he was arested for speaking the truth and later beheaded in the behest of a dancing girl to quench the avengful response of a power loving woman and her husband the ruler.

I have known that pain.

The insecurity of living in a context where every other person could be plotting to get rid of you somehow.

Yes I healed, I touched life but the system saw that as a threat and started plotting to get rid of me. Having to live in the vicinity of secret agents looking for a way or a reason to get rid of you.

I know what it means. I have gone gone through it.

The mental agony of being in the shadow of death.

At Gathsamene I faced that great challenge. Beyond what Shakespeare put in Hamlets mouth- to be or not to be- the struggle of choices with death beckoning on one side was never easy

I know what it means- I have gone through it.

The Pain of being betrayed by your closest associate

On that night in the garden when Judas decided that my wife was worth only thirty silver pieces for him and then chose to betray me with a KISS.

Yes the pain of being betrayed by people whom you trusted, you lived with, whom you thought would never leave you or forsake you. When they suddenly change colours. When you feel helpless when the lips that once kissed with love decides to make our life contexts toxic.

I have gone through that (was there tears in that eye)

The frustration of being thrown from pillar to post in the neame of unjust and unfair trails.

The High Priests, the Chief Priests, the Governor and a crowd that just the previous week shouted Hosanna, shouting Crucify Him Crucify Him

Unfair Trials!!!. I have gone through that.

The emptiness you feel when the judge pronounces that I find no fault with you, yet I sentence to death punishment.

Making a mockery of the judicial system. I have gone through that.

The agony of being tortured and shamed brutally in public.

Inflicting physical pain to break you down, to tease you, to mock you, to be a deterrant against further voices of dissent.

The extend of physical pain any person can go through I went through it all

When you talk about pain- physical, mental, emotional- I underatnd

The inner turbulence when you see your helpless dear ones made to watch the gruesomeoness you are subjected to.

Yes Mary my mother was there with a sword piercing her heart. Mary Magdalene was there. People who loved me inspite of and despite the challenges were there. I could see the pain. I did say “do not cry for me, but for your generations”. I understand.

The piercing within you when you hear your closest aids publically declaring I do not know this person.

Till the previous moment they walk beside and tell you that they are willing to lay their lives for you- but when a crisis point comes they say- I have nothing to do with this man.

Friends leaving you alone in your moments of crisis- I have gone through it.

The feeling of being abandoned even by God in your highest moments of public shame.

Yes I did call out from the cross- Eloi, Eloi, Lamma Sabakthani- My Lord, My Lord, Why did you forsake me?

I know how it feels when you think even God has forsaken you.

The shame of dying in public gaze

Yes, I do know, I have gone through it.

But the good news is- That is not the end of the story. I conquered death. Rose again. Ascended on High.

The Hope of Life beyond is not a tranquiliser for you to bear your pain here and now. It strengthens you to continue to live for the cause of LOVE, JUSTICE, TRUTH and PEACE.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who in every respect has been tested as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

The message is simple- Whatever your need be at this hour and time- let us approach the throne of grace with boldness. Let us be assured of mercy and grace.

The big question remains- But Why? Why are we going through all these?

The Eucharist that reminds us of the Broken Body and Blood shed for the salvation of humanity should help us find meaning to this search of ours.

We have a buddy, tested as we are, who understands us as we are- A friend who truly gets me

Amen

Vinod Victor

13.10.2024